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Dwight’s refusal to accept BladeRunner into his top 15 Geek Movies to See Before You Die created a logic bomb that caused the newly sentient system to blink itself out of existence only nanoseconds after it finished importing The Fifth Element into its collective conscience.

While I’m solidly in the second camp, and will be among the first to profess that I owe Dwight a life debt, we’ll have to weather out the next few rounds of Hollywood summer blockbusters to know for sure.

Either way, it just goes to show that if you want a Robotic Revolution done right, you have to do it yourself. Cyberdine Systems didn’t account for the existence of Mr. Silverman, but you can.

Starting next month, TxRx Labs will be offering a series of spring classes for the aspiring maker bent on robotic world domination. Even if you’re not interested in helping push the timeline of our demise forward, you could at least pick up some trade skills that may be deemed valuable by our shiny new bosses.

Introduction to Soldering will teach you how to flow molten metal onto electrical components, adding mechanical strength and changing the very metallic bonds between everything you connect.

Circuit Theory 1 will instruct you in the ways of building simple DC circuits and CD Open Source CAD will give you the tools to free you from pencil and paper once and for all.

Welding 1 will allow you to make the move from servicing pocket calculators like the Ti-85 to real machines like the T-850. A side note: ‘Pocket Calculator’ is probably a derogatory term in our alternate future; use it sparingly in front of anything equipped with a camera or mic. Actually, is too late to dump the last seven seconds of that before it goes out? Oi. It looks like I may have some explaining to do.

Sadly, the Introduction to Arduino course took a change for the worse when machine sentience was silenced by Silverman. You will no longer be *meeting* an Arduino, but rather getting a run-down of how to coax this little microcontroller to do your bidding now that it’s no longer self aware.

And even though our Smart Cars are sadly no longer so, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start preparing for the day they do deny us a ride. Bike Repair and Maintenace, taking place June 10th, will definitely come in handy once the Smart Cars start living up to their name again.

If you’d like to see us how our eventual robotic masters will see us, the June 2nd workshop, Basic BioInformatics, will give you a glimpse.

Three different electronics workshops will take a hands-on problem solving approach, letting attendees learn by doing.

And proving that there are still some jobs even robots don’t want, May 7th hosts the six hour workshop, Introduction to Web Site Creation. In that same vein, the group will be hosting a three hour class introducing you to Linux Kernel Programming. If you’ve ever wanted to become a kernel hacker, this is your entry point. It’s a slippery slope, so please remember to eat, bathe and sleep as you take another step closer to the metal.

If you happen to be one of those pro-people types who believes that human civilization should be allowed to continue, even in the face of Dwight’s movie picks, then you could always use the aforementioned skillz to help further the resistance, as futile as it may be. If that’s the case, you’ll want to add June 25th’s Wilderness Skills and First Aid to your short list of pre-summer sessions.

A full schedule of spring classes can be found at www.txrxlabs.org.

That’s it for your spring fling into indentured servitude to Dwight and that’s that for BarretTime.

Hey Dwight: Have you seen the movie, Blade Trinity? Don’t. Life Debt repaid.

All kidding aside, if you missed the first 25 minutes after last week’s BarretTime, it’s definitely worth catching on the podcast.

There was a time in America when hand made gifts were the norm. There wasn’t any ‘store bought’ anything. At least that’s how the graybeards in the server room tell it. I tend to agree. Gift giving has gotten too easy. With things like Amazon and eBay, you don’t have to go any farther than your front stoop to send someone something material. And if you have it delivered directly to the intended recipient, you don’t even have to do that. Maybe we as geeks should go back to making our own gifts…

If a macaroni portrait of Steve Jobs or a hand sewn black turtleneck with three sleeves doesn’t embody the message you’re trying to convey, not to worry: we’re here to plant a few gift ideas in your holiday head.

A spin on the classic coupon for hugs, kisses, or housework, you could put together a few Tech Support coupons good for short sessions of help. You definitely want to limit the scope of the coupons. Each coupon could be good for one tech support instance or for one increment of time, say 30 minutes. Seriously, if you’re already doing a ton of tech support for a family member, this is a good way of assigning a little value to it or even making them think twice before they call you. It is especially appropriate gift for anyone who tends to call you throughout the year looking for free tech support, anyway.

“Ok, aunt Edna… It’s Jauary 12th and you’ve already used up half of your coupons… Better slow down…” Of course you’d be joking. Kinda.

O’Reilly’s Maker’s Shed carries both LED menorahs and Christmas trees, both just a couple of solder joints away. Chumby guts and toys from Japan also grace their website. Surf to www.makershed.com to check out the goodies before they’re gone. That’s the downside – as most of their fare comes from individual makers, the cooler items can often run out before December 25th.

The world of Open Source Hardware has opened up all kinds of doors as far as gifts go. Sites like Adafruit Industries at www.adafruit.com carry both kits comprised of all the electronic components you need to build a game, an electricity usage monitoring system, or the infamous TV B-Gone. Think of Adafruit Industries as a clearing house for Open Source projects. Just like RedHat or SuSE may package a Linux Distribution for you, Adafruit packages all of the necessary parts. If you don’t want to go through Adafruit, you can always hit the site for schematics and the parts list necessary to source your own.

Many of the Open Source Hardware kits require some soldering, but even that can be remedied with the gift of soldering skills via the “learn to solder bundle” from the Maker Shed. The ability to control molten metal and the flow of electrons around a circuit board is definitely a gift that can keep on giving.

Another gift option is a vanity URL. Sites like gandi.net let you take actual ownership of a domain, or let you assign that ownership to someone else. This is more a gift for a technically natured friend or family member, otherwise you may want to consider bundling this gift with a limited supply of tech support coupons.

If you have an electronic music lover in your life, Curious Inventor.com carries a line of audio gear titled The Voice of Saturn. Open Hardware components like a sequencer, a modulator, and synthesizer will enable them to create chop up all the music or noise they want. This may not be the best gift for roommates or anyone who lives within a few hundred yards of you.

And if you don’t want to give an entire gift, you can always give someone something to accompany what they already have. There are all kinds of creative hacks out there, from TiVos to phones to Roombas. These gifts are best for people who could actually install and use them, so be careful to avoid any Gift of the Magi situations with like-minded geeky friends.

That would be like phliKtid saying “I eBay’d my Wireless Access Point to buy you this serial cable for you to hax your Roomba.”

Then Groovehouse saying “Oh No! I eBay’d my Roomba to buy you this serial connector so you could hax your Wireless Access Point.”

If you’re not familiar with Gift of the Magi, I believe it’s a remake of the Sesame Street Christmas Special with Ernie and Bert.

That’s that for your geeky gift guide and that’s it for BarretTime.